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Resource Exchange Do you have a resource that you have developed for faith formation in congregation and/or home that you are willing to share with others? Please feel free to forward it to me (pastorgreg@formingfaith.com) and I will post it in this section. Resource for At-Home Meditation on Luther's Small Catechism
Papers Over time I have had opportunity to write various papers on aspects of faith formation and child, youth and family ministry. Click on the link to see the relevant paper.
Articles
Sermons Book Recommendations
Re-Generating our Faith Communities In thinking back on my personal journey as a Christian public leader, I am reminded of Jesus’ healing of the blind man of Bethsaida, as recorded in Mark 8. The man received the gift of sight in stages. My passion in ministry has been the faith nurture of children and young people. I began in youth ministry focussing on individuals. Then gradually I came to realise the power and significance of the family system for forming faith in youth and children. I began to focus then on children, youth and families. Then I came to realise that, in order to fulfil its calling to nurture faith, the Christian family and its members need support from and vital engagement with the cross-generational community of faith. I have grown to think of children, youth, families and generations together. That is the church God has given us – individuals, families and generations – all together. Adopted into God’s family through baptism, we are called to explore and realise the connections we have with one another through the water and the word. God has given us to each other – as individuals, families and generations – for the purposes of mutual learning, growth, support and encouragement. His design is that we rub shoulders with each other – young and old, single or married, familied or familyless – for as we do, He, who is alive in each of us, “rubs off” on us. In this article I use both the terms intergenerational and cross-generational. “Intergenerational” means, of course: between or among generations. It is a word that comes from the world at large and refers to any involvement between persons from different generations. When I use it, I do so in that general sense. But when I speak of generational interaction within the church, I prefer to use the word cross-generational. In the Christian church, the cross makes all the difference. It is in the light of the cross that accept and embrace one another as brothers and sisters in Christ, regardless of age of life stage. It is in the light of the cross that we become willing to go beyond generational differences to celebrate the unity we have in Christ. It is in the light of the cross that we expect to see Christ in one another, and receive his ministry through one another – seniors from children, marrieds from singles, youth from children, and so on, and so on. In Christ our differences become opportunities to learn from and serve one another. In Christ we are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit (Ephesians 2:22)! Generations in Modern Society For centuries, intergenerational families and communities were the norm. Parents, children and grandparents lived in close proximity and gave support and counsel to each other. Grandparents shared their memories and experiences; parents provided economic, emotional and moral support; and children offered their energy and enthusiasm, as at least three generations participated together in family and community life. But in modern times these familial networks, which once knit people together into close configurations of sharing and learning, have been disrupted by a range of economic and social forces. Moreover, generations in the wider society have become more and more segregated from each other.
In our rapidly changing world, there is no longer any guarantee that a child will be reared with the direct influence of two or more other generations. Nor is there any guarantee that a child or young person will grow up having meaningful, significant relationships with adults beyond his or immediate family. Nor is there any guarantee that a young adult or a person in the last third of life will have a significant relationship with a child. Over thirty years ago, world-renowned psychologist Urie Bronfenbrenner (Professor of Human Development and Family Studies and of Psychology, Cornell University) made this prophetic observation:
By the late 1990s, the predictions of Professor Bronfenbrenner were dramatically realised in American society in the horrors of gang violence and school shootings. (Australia’s claim to fame is one of the highest youth suicide rates in the world!) Patricia Hersch, author of A Tribe Apart : A Journey into the Heart of American Adolescence, observed the generational isolation of young people at very close quarters. For three years Hersch followed eight teens living in a Washington DC suburb - attending their classes, interviewing them extensively, shadowing them to events and on outings. What she found was that America's teens have fashioned a fully defined culture that adults neither see nor imagine - a culture of unprecedented freedom and baffling complexity, a culture with rules but no structure, values but no clear morality, codes but no consistency. Resigned to the attitude that adolescents simply live in ‘a tribe apart’, Hersch reported that adults have pulled away, relinquishing responsibility and supervision, allowing the unhealthy behaviors of teens to flourish. Ultimately, this rift between adults and teenagers robs both generations of meaningful connections.
Hersch further describes the consequences separating young people from the adult world:
Generations in the Church As a community of generations in a generationally-segregated society, the Christian congregation occupies a very special. James White observes that the local church is the ‘only institution in society with people of all ages in its constituency’ [1988:22]. Similarly, Margaret Sawin writes: ‘The church is the only agency in Western civilization which has all the members of the family as part of its clientele. It is the only organized group which reaches persons through the complete life cycle from birth to death.’ [1979:22]. The church has, of course, a long history of cross-generational life. Historically, Christians of all ages lived together in close-knit hamlets, villages, towns or city boroughs and came together for worship, fellowship and learning irrespective of age or life stage. There were no child or youth programs or women’s guilds. The faith nurture of individuals took place intergenerationally in extended families. In this, the church’s life reflected the wider cultural structure, in which people worked and socialised. Because the culture was intergenerational, nothing intentional had to be devised to connect persons of different generations: these relationships occurred naturally. It can perhaps be said then that the church has always been cross-generational but not always intentionally so. Today, of course, the cultural situation is very different. While our congregations contain persons of different generations, we cannot assume that they have natural opportunities to relate to one another beyond the limited opportunities of Sunday morning. Furthermore, many congregations have actually exacerbated generational disconnections by age-segregated programming! On Sunday mornings, children and youth head off to their separate activities following worship (or sometimes even during worship!). Adults meet together for various purposes during the week – often with generational peers – with little focus given to connecting with other generations. The cultural trend towards generational segregation has had a particularly significant influence on the way congregations have approached the task of nurturing faith in children and young people. Following the educational practices of modern schooling, children’s ministry has often been reduced to placing children in classes with other peers, with the focus upon receiving and processing content. The same pattern can be seen in confirmation instruction. As for youth ministry, youth leadership in many congregations has been the domain of older youth or young adults. It is very rare for church children or youth to have regular contact with people from all living generations through their age-specific programming. The result of these patterns in church life has been to make congregations – communities where generational differences are to be transcended, not reinforced – actually part of the bigger problem. They have also, as we shall later see, impacted on the capacity of the church and its families to grow together in faith and to pass on Christ to the next generation. Why Cross-Generational Ministry? It is important to define what cross-generational ministry actually is. It takes place when persons from at least two generations intentionally gather for the same activity in the name of Christ, interacting with one another in ways which reflect mutual respect and appreciation. It can be formal (e.g. an organised acivity which brings generations together) or informal (e.g. persons of different generations sharing together over coffee). But it is more than mere mingling, and more than simply having two generations together in the one place. There are a number of important reasons for promoting cross-generational ministry. For the Bible Tells Me So (1 Corinthians 12:12) Some Key Biblical Passages:
A cross-generational approach to the practice of faith in the Christian congregation has deep and biblical, theological roots. Cross-generational congregational life involves both living within, and living out of that which God has divinely created and gifted through Word and Sacrament. In the community of baptismal adoption that is the church, all are equal in Christ, irrespective of age, gender or life stage. 1 Corinthians 12 and Romans 12 provide us with the image of the Christian ecclesia as the “body of Christ”, in which each person has been uniquely gifted for service within the body and to other parts of the body. Effective cross-generational programming can facilitate the mutual discovery and sharing of one another’s gifts – whatever our “age or stage” – for the building-up of the whole community of faith. To be a Christian is, then, to be born and called into a cross-generational community of faith, in which all generations belong to one another and all have responsibility to and for one another. Cross-generational ministry is not necessary in order for us be God’s people, but is a wondrous gift that God gives to his people in the form of each other. Because we are God’s people we will seek to enjoy, appreciate and employ that gift to his glory! To Provide an Extended “Family” for Persons of All Ages & Stages (Psalm 68:6). Effective cross-generational programming provides a means of ministering to those in the congregation who do not “fit” into age-specific programming, or do not have natural opportunities for cross-generational interaction (e.g. young adults, seniors, unmarrieds). Family ministry is currently the “buzz word” in many of our congregations – and with good reason. Equipping and supporting families to passing on the Christian faith and to live faithfully with one another is vital for the church’s mission and nurture. But a focus on families is not enough. A common criticism of family ministry is that is ignores, excludes or alienates those who are not part of families-with-children, or do not come from Christian homes. This criticism deserves to be taken seriously. As Eric Wallace (author of Uniting Church and Home) says: ‘If you don’t include them, you’re just creating a ‘family’ fragment with separate needs and separate relationships from the rest of the body’. Cross-generational ministry addresses this problem in two ways. (I call it the “second level” of family ministry.) Firstly, it seeks to build the larger “family” of the congregation in which all are welcome, regardless of whether or not they have biological family connections within the congregation. Secondly, cross-generational ministry seeks to enable those without biological family connections to take up their calling to be “faith” brothers, sisters, fathers and mothers to others within the congregation. Young adults, seniors and unmarried persons can often serve as tremendous mentors and support persons to parents, youth and children. To Grow in Mutual Understanding and Appreciation (Philippians 2:1-4) The modern societal segregation of generations has contributed to a sense of distrust or even fear between different generational groupings. Effective cross-generational congregational programming can assist in clarifying commonalities and differences, develop mutual respect and breakdown false and unhelpful stereotypes. It can also serve to equip congregational members with the skills and confidence for cross-age communication and service. To Employ the “Living Curriculum” God has Given to Grow us in Faith (Philippians 4:9) Cross-generational involvement is, I contend, an important element for forming faith in children, youth and young adults - faith which leads into lifelong involvement in God’s church. Let me explain why I believe this to be so. Coming to faith, whether as an infant or later in life, is not the end but the beginning of a journey. A new faith is a fragile thing. It needs careful tending, or it is quickly extinguished. The parable of the Sower and the Seed (Matthew 13) speaks to us of that reality. How does faith then grow and mature? As Lutherans, we say: “through Word and Sacrament”. That is, by hearing God’s Word and receiving his Sacraments. That then that takes us back to worship, where God’s Word is preached, where baptisms take place, and where the Lord’s Supper is distributed. Where to? Into thin air? No – into the ears, mouths, hearts and lives of people, who bear Christ out into daily life. The Word, Sacraments and people go together! As Christians we are the “people of Word and Sacrament” – or dare I say, “sacramental people”. Through Word and Sacrament, God has taken up residence in us. Christ, who took up human flesh through the Incarnation, has made us his body here on earth. As we relate to one another, as we practice our faith in home, congregation and community, Christ gets loose in the world through us. Our relationships with others become an extension of God’s Word and Sacrament work: from Sunday worship through us to others. The simple point I’m making is this: faith nurture is not just about getting people into Sunday school or confirmation classes, or even into Sunday worship. It’s about connecting people with others in the faith community, where they can see, hear and experience God at work amongst his “sacramental people”. Faith is not an abstract set of thoughts or beliefs, but something which is realised, practiced, lived and experienced in Christian community. The meaning of faith is developed in members of our congregations out of their history with one another, through their ongoing interactions with each other, and in relation to events that take place in their lives together. George Koehler (author of Learning Christ: A Guide for Intergenerational Education in the Church) says this:
The passing on of faith is done in community, more so than in classrooms! Emil Brunner, the famous Swiss theologian argued that the church ‘took a wrong turning when it substituted the technique of the classroom for the technique of the community in religious education’ [quoted in Harkness 1998b:10]. Similarly, Anglican priest and theologian John Westerhoff III (author of Will Our Children Have Faith?) contends that:
The language, events and real-life implications of the gospel of Christ are imbedded in people’s lives through being shared, learned and practiced in Christian community. It is not sufficient to give our young people the Catechism; we must give them living, breathing answers to Luther’s catechetical question of “what is this?”. It is not sufficient to give our children bible verses to memorise; we must give them exposure to the word alive in mature persons of faith. We live in age where whole congregations could be suffocated the weight of the curriculum materials produced each year for church use. We are tempted to think that the next curriculum resource will contain the silver bullet we are searching for. But the truth is that we already have all the curriculum we need: our own faith communities. The fundamental curriculum for passing on faith is the faith community itself. In the words of Lutheran educator Norma Cook Everist:
As we worship, pray, learn, care, serve and fellowship together as the people of God, our children, young people and not-so-young people learn what it means to live as people of faith. Formal faith content is unlikely to have significant traction in the lives of children and youth without frequent exposure to the practice of faith together with other Christians. “But what does this have to do with different generations?” you might ask. Couldn’t just one generation function as a faith community and that be sufficient? John Westerhoff says “no”. Meaningful interaction between at least three generations is necessary, he argues, for a healthy and complete experience of Christian community, for each generation offers something needed by the other generations.
Growing in Christian faith involves learning and observing those who have walked the path before us and learning from them how our faith is to be practiced, and how it relates to daily life. In the church we wish to see people of all ages “practicing” faith together: worshipping together, studying and meditating upon God’s word together, praying together, sharing together and serving together. It is not sufficient to give people the content of faith: we must help them discover what it means to practice faith day in and day out. That is best done by exposing them to others who can practice that faith alongside them, sharing their own experiences and learnings. Craig Dykstra argues that learning practices from others is necessary because they are by nature historical, communal, difficult, and counter-cultural.
By giving our children, youth, young adults and newcomers to the faith an experience of cross-generational community we give them the opportunity to learn how this faith really works out in practice in people’s lives over the long haul. To Give Children and Young People “Clouds of Witnesses” (Heb. 12:1). The segregation of generations both in the wider culture and within the life of the church has robbed young people of perhaps the most valuable vehicle for the passing on of the Christian faith: mentoring relationships with persons of other generations. Eugene Roehlkepartain, director Search Institute, makes this point well:
Exposure to a variety of significant adult Christian role models and mentors is, research indicates, a vital factor for the nurturing of faith in children and youth. Effective cross-generational programming can connect children and youth with non-parent adults who serve as authentic models of the importance and relevance of faith for the whole of life. While Sunday school and the traditional youth group serve as good “holding pens” for the young people of Christian homes during childhood and adolescence, they are generally not sufficient to grow them toward lifelong participation in the church. Mark DeVries, author of Family-Based Youth Ministry, refers to age-specific programs of this type as “orphaning structures”. They offer a point of connection with younger people while they are young, but usually do little to integrate them with the wider church during these years, leaving them spiritual orphans at the end of these life periods. Contemporary churches, DeVries says have been ‘much more effective in providing young people with meaningful connections to the orphaning structure of the youth group than to the lifelong structure of the church’ [1994: 117]. I am not saying that there are no benefits to be derived from age-specific programs. In a separate group, children and young people have a lot of freedom to express their faith. They can be creative in drawing on their own culture. They can use their own language, technology and concepts. Such groups can also function well in mission to their peers because they are far more culturally relevant. But I am saying that it is important to recognise their limitations, and not expect them to achieve what is beyond their scope. If children and youth’s primary experience of the church is that of the age-specific program, they do not come to learn the language and practices of the adult community, and it can be very difficult for them to find a spiritual home as they leave adolescence behind. Moreover, age segregation tends to encourage the formation of little communities in which people enjoy each other and undergo rarefied and beautiful experiences, but do not contribute responsibly to the development of Christian community as a whole, nor receive the riches of that broader community life. Young people will not learn the nature of mature faith, the issues of mature faith, nor the practices of mature faith from their peers – nor, might I suggest, from those who are just a few years older than they. It is vital, in my view, that we take a serious “reality check” on the intent and purposes of our child and youth ministry programming. We need to take the long view. Our aim should not be to usefully occupy or entertain the younger generations in the church today, but to lay the groundwork for their participation in the church as adults. This means making a primary goal of child and youth ministry their appropriate assimilation into the full life of the faith community. The measure of our success in child and youth ministry should not be the numbers attending our group today, but how many of these attendees will still be involved in the life of the church at age thirty. One area of church life to which such thinking might be applied is confirmation ministry. How differently might we understand and approach confirmation ministry if we saw the following as some of our key desired outcomes:
To Support Families as Units of Faith Formation (Luke 2:44) A basic unit of cross-generational faith sharing is, of course, the family-with-youth-or-children. Much has been said in recent times about importance of the ministry of the home, and I strongly commend that to you. But we are mistaken if we see the Christian family, in and of itself, as sufficiently outward-looking, resourceful or capable of growing children and youth as disciples of Christ. No family can or should carry that responsibility on its own – and God did not intend for it to do so. In the church, water is thicker than blood. When a person is baptised they are joined to a bigger water family that is, in God’s eyes, now their primary family. We need each other as the church – the water family – to support, nurture and strengthen us in issues of faith and life. The blood family is too small, too fragmented, and too isolated to raise disciples without the assistance of the larger water family. Each child or young person needs an extended “faith family” of significant adults that can offer external faith support to them beyond their home, and in so doing, aid that home in fulfilling its Christian calling. Cross-generational ministry can help families through facilitating and encouraging such mentoring relationships. Think Perspective, not Program Cross-generational ministry is, at its heart, not a new program but a perspective on ministry. It is a way of thinking that has the potential to reshape and re-generate the life, worship and witness of our congregations. Its about generations helping one another be who they are in Christ and developing the congregation as a rich, cross-age matrix. Let me suggest a few ways forward:
A Planning Resource: www.nationalministries.org/resources/training_time/docs/103.doc Examples of Cross-Generational Ministry
References Books Bronfenbrenner, Urie (1973): Two Worlds of Childhood, New York: Pocket Books. Everist, Norma Cook (2002): The Church as Learning Community: A Comprehensive Guide to Christian Education, Nashville: Abingdon Press. Goplin, Vicky (ed.) (2001): Across the Generations: Incorporating All Ages in Ministry: The Why and How, Minneapolis: Augsburg Fortress. Hersch, Patricia (1998): A Tribe Apart, New York: Fawcett Columbine. Koehler, George E (1977): Learning Together: A Guide for Intergenerational Education in the Church, Nashville: Discipleship Resources. Nelson, C. Ellis (1978): Where Faith Begins, Richmond: Knox Press. Sawin, Margaret (1979): Family Enrichment with Family Clusters, Valley Forge: Judson Press. Simpson, Amy (ed.) (1999): No More Us and Them: 100 Ways to Bring Your Youth and Church Together, Loveland: Group Publishing. Westerhoff, John III (1976): Will Our Children Have Faith?, New York: Seabury Press. White, James W. (1988): Intergenerational Religious Education: Models, Theory and Prescription for Interage Life and Learning in the Faith Community, Birmingham: Religious Education Press. Articles Allen, Holly (2004): ‘Nurturing Children’s Spirituality in Intergenerational Settings’, Lutheran Education Journal, Vol. 139/2, Winter. Baigent, Avril (2005): “Intergenerational Congregations – are they truly possible?”: Paper presented to the Sixth International Association for the Study of Youth Ministry, London, January 4-7. Clark, Chap (2002): ‘Strategic Assimilation: Rethinking the Goal of Youth Ministry’, Youthworker, July/August. Dykstra, Craig (1985): ‘No longer strangers: the church and its educational ministry’, Princeton Seminary Bulletin, Vol. 6/3, 188-200. Gambone, James (2003): ‘Generations together in faith: a vision’, Clergy Journal, September. Harkness, Alan (1998a): ‘Intergenerational Christian education: An imperative for effective education in local churches – Part 2’, Journal of Christian Education, Vol. 41/1, April, 37-50. Harkness, Alan (1998b): ‘Intergenerational Christian education: An imperative for effective education in local churches – Part 1’, Journal of Christian Education, Vol. 41/2, July, 5-14. Lewis, Diane (2000): ‘Generation Mixing: Enhancing congregational life and strengthening faith are hallmarks of intentional intergenerational learning’, Lutheran Partners, January/February, 20-23. Roehlkepartain, E.C. (2003): ‘From age segregation to intergenerational community’, The Clergy Journal, Vol. 80/1, October. Thompson, Lynne (2003): ‘Intergenerational ministry: Breaking down barriers, creating a family model’: Focus on the Family: Accessed through www.family.org Zahn, Drew (2003): ‘Connecting the generations’, Christianity Today, Vol. 24/2, Spring.
Fo(u)rging Congregational Family Ministry
Four Dimensions of Family Ministry
Pastoral: Providing pastoral care and support for families and family members in their primary relationships; strengthening families through therapeutic and enrichment programs.
Educational: Educating families in ways that enhance their relationships; forming faith in family members through Christian education and experiential learning (in both age specific and intergenerational contexts); supporting and equipping the home as the primary context for faith formation.
Communal: Developing the congregational community as a welcoming “second family” for families and family members; enabling intergenerational relationship-building and faith sharing within the congregation; and connecting families with families for mutual support and interaction.
Celebrational: Giving attention to the way in which the worship life of the faith community connects with family life and to the relationship between corporate worship and Christian formation in the home.
Four Practices for Family Ministry
Caring Conversation: The practice of caring, attendant communication with others, grounded in the love and mercy of God.
Devotion: Attentiveness to prayer and the guidance of the Word of God in daily life.
Service: Practical Christ-like service aimed at meeting the needs of and/or building up other persons.
Rituals and Traditions: Routine patterns and behaviours that embody and communicate the meaning of the Christian faith
Four Ingredients of Family Ministry
Life-Cycle Based, Home-Supportive Ministry
Child/Youth/Parent Frendly Ministry
Family-Friendly Age-Specific Ministry
Cross-Generational Ministry
Five Foundations for Congregational Family Ministry
Family Ministry flows out of God’s gifts in public worship.
Spiritual Growth is the goal of Family Ministry.
Family Ministry is a Perspective, not a Program.
Family Ministry is Missional.
Family Ministry is about more than Nuclear Families
Thirteen Principles for Congregational Family Ministry 1. Conforming to the Mission of the Church As a ministry of the church, family ministry must be grounded in and flow out of the basic mission and purposes of the church. These are to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ and administer the Sacraments in order that persons might come to faith, and worship and serve God in and through the church as the body of Christ in the world. From this perspective, the church ministers to and with families as more than just another social agency seeking to meet the needs of families in society. As Garland expresses, the basic question is: ‘How can we best serve Christ through our ministry with families? Ultimately, that question must shape what we do’ [1999: 302].
2. Responding to Family Diversity Family ministry involves ministry to and with families in their diverse forms in church and society. In so doing, great sensitivity is required to avoid preferencing particular family types (e.g. the conventional nuclear family) as normative, therein effectively excluding those who do not feel part of a so-called “traditional family”. As Sell points out: In acknowledgement of family diversity, Olson and Leonard contend that ‘we should not speak about “the family” but about “families”’ [1996: 43]. Family ministry involves listening carefully to and discerning the needs of families, whatever their particular structure, and affirming their various God-given strengths and callings.
3. Defining Family Broadly and Openly Concomitant with recognition of family diversity is a broad and inclusive definition of family. Family can be understood in many ways. For many people family means those with whom they are connected through birth, marriage or adoption; for others family means those with whom they share intimacy, whether or not they are legally related. Family ministry involves ministering to persons in the context of what they conceive as being family for them. At the same time, the biblical witness calls us to honour, love and be reconciled with our families of origin. Family ministry therefore has a two-fold focus of supporting persons in their relationships with those whom they consider family (i.e. are functionally related), and in their relationships with those to whom they are legally (or structurally) related. Family ministry, moreover, recognises that families exist across space and time. A person who lives apart from family still has family. Singles for instance are not excluded from family ministry: they ‘participate in messy and chaotic family life as they relate to their parents and married siblings’, and are deeply enriched by “family-like” relationships within the church community [Foley 1995: 2].
4. Developing Church as a “Family-Like” Community
Jesus redefined family for Christians when he named as his ‘brother and mother and sister’ those who do the will of God (Mk. 3:33-34). In and through fellowship with Christ, a Christian has a large extended “family” in the community of faith. As we have already seen, the Sacrament of Baptism is the means by which the Christian’s adoption into this second and greater family is effected. Family ministry operates then not only at level of distinct family units but takes seriously our status as brothers and sisters and mothers for one another in the church community.
A central challenge for family ministry is to develop churches as “family-like”, intergenerational communities in which the “one another” practices of Christian discipleship are actively practiced and experienced. Family ministry is ‘best done in a church that is family-like’ [Sell 1995: 157]. Through functioning as a caring intergenerational communities, churches provide relationships for those without immediate structural family, ensuring that no one in the family of faith is family-less . Through functioning as caring intergenerational communities, churches facilitate mutual support between families and provide families with a broader experience of community life. Through as caring intergenerational communities, churches provide children and youth with a variety of adult mentors necessary for faith development.
5. Building Upon Family Strengths Centred in the grace of God, family ministry begins with recognising, affirming and building upon the God-given strengths and gifts of families. Unfortunately, family ministry has often operated with a “deficit model” of family life, focusing upon families as less than ideal, or broken and in need of repair, and aiming to meet their perceived “needs”. Such an approach usually acts to disempower and marginalise families who are non-traditional in form or fall short of a perceived “norm” for family life.
One subtle distortion is the assumption that there is some abstract norm for the Christian family, whose secret is know and dispensed by the church. Again the effect is disempowering for the family. It can lead people to believe that if their family is less than perfect, it is unacceptable to the church. When families feel constrained to cover their pain and brokenness in order to present the appearance of an ideal Christian family, real spiritual growth is paralyzed [Thompson 1996: 27]. Even in their brokenness, families are loved and blessed by God and gifted to fulfill their vocation. Although each family is imperfect, God has gracious designs for its life and growth within the church as well as remarkable ministries for it to embody. A key step in building upon family strengths is affirming the ministry that already happens in families:
We build family ministry on the strengths and needs of families by ministering to them “where they are at” and not where we would like them to be. In affirming families for what they are already doing, we empower and support them to move onto new and broader dimensions of ministry. Of course, to say that family ministry builds upon family strengths does not mean that one ignores the reality of family dysfunction: God desires that families grow in the quality of their life together and churches are called to serve as agents of healing for families. The point is that this healing best occurs through an environment of affirmation and grace, not one which inadvertently reinforces negative familial self-conceptions and drives families away from the ultimate source of hope and healing, the presence of Christ Jesus amongst us in Word and Sacrament.
6. Ministering to Families as Systems
God’s design for this world is such that individuals live not in isolation but in connection to others. Human identity is sourced in and derived from “I-thou” relationships, and primarily through the most basic of relationships, those within our families of origin. As Guernsey points out, this inter-relationship and interdependence was explicit in God’s original creation of humans:
The relational interactions that occur within family systems fundamentally affect the actions and reactions of individual members to any given situation. It follows that families are best ministered to as families, and not just as collections of individuals.
7. Ministering to Families through Time
Not only are families found in a variety of forms; they are also involved in different life-stages. Families in different life stages face different stresses and problems and have different needs. A “one size fits all” approach to family ministry is therefore inadequate. Effective family ministry requires that churches develop an understanding of how families evolve through successive life stages, listen carefully to discern their needs at different points in time, and provide stage-sensitive programming and stage-appropriate support for families. Because, in many instances, it contains whole families over time, the church is in a unique position to prevent and address family problems, and develop family strengths from a “life cycle” perspective. As Sell puts it, ‘it is the church’s business that people live in Christ-like ways in their families at all stages of the life-cycle’ [1995: 21].
8. Reading the Systemic Context
While acknowledging that families themselves are systems, family ministry further recognises that, as distinct social units, they are embedded within broader social, economic and cultural systems which impinge upon family life. Family ministry involves utilising what Garland calls an ‘ecosystemic perspective’:
One implication of an ecosystemic perspective is that strengthening communities serves to strengthen families. A vital way in which churches can minister with families is to develop strong functional communities, both internally and externally. The faith community can serve as one level of significant support system of for families. Within the church, networks of supportive friends for family members serve as an important means of encouragement, assistance and faith formation The broader community, of which faith communities are a part, offers further resources and possibilities for family support. By seeking to partner with other community organisations that work with or affect family life, churches can promote the development of such resources and enhance family access to them. An ecosystemic perspective in family ministry further involves appreciation of and accommodation to the way in which broader economic and social factors affect family life, for better or for worse. A church made up of many two income households, for example, may need to find ways to offer worship experiences that fit family schedules, rather than expecting families to be available at the time of the church’s choosing. But, while demonstrating sensitivity to socio-environmental factors influencing family life, congregations may also be called to perform a prophetic function. Not all economic, social and cultural trends are necessarily God-pleasing. Churches may be required to speak out in society against those factors that detract from God-pleasing family life. Similarly, performing this prophetic function may require churches to address their own member families concerning their interactions with their wider environment, challenging priorities and use of internal family resources.
9. Partnering with Families in Faith Formation
We have seen the way in which family ministry understands the Christian family as an expression of the life of the church. As “domestic units” of the church, families participate in the calling, mission and purposes of the church under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
Church and family have what Sell calls a ‘symbiotic relationship’ [1995: 14]. In particular, the role the family plays as the primary influence on faith formation of youth and children is increasingly acknowledged in church life. Parents who nurture their children in faith take part in the mission of the church and support, equip and encourage their children to take an active part in the broader activities of the church. As Sell points out:
Family ministry involves the church exploring ways in which to partner with the home in the vital task of faith formation, to the mutual benefit of both home and church and, above all, to the glory of God.
10. Equipping and Sending Families in Mission
Family ministry, as a ministry of the church, shares in the mission of the church in and to the world. This mission takes place through the mutual sharing of faith and love within the Christian families of the church; through the active service and witness of whole family units in their communities; through the service and witness individual family members with the support of their family units; and through church programs which share the love of Christ in word and deed in response to the needs of families within the broader community. Central to this missional dimension of family ministry is educating, engaging and encouraging families toward participation in the outward service and witness of the church. The church does not seek to meet family needs or build stronger families as an end in itself, but in order that they might bear witness to Christ in mutual and corporate expressions of discipleship. Family ministry involves an understanding of families as contexts, vehicles and sites of preparation for ministry and mission in the world. The aim is to ‘stir a lively awareness of family life, not as end itself, but as a base for mission’ [Olson & Leonard 1999: 77].
Meeting family “needs” in the community and the strengthening of families can be powerful vehicles for the Gospel but must never become a substitute for it. Family ministry leaders must be ever aware of the dangers of unconsciously promoting the “idolatry” of the family.
Introspective spirituality has the perverse effect of dulling the growth and vitality of Christian faith. The family is hurt when it becomes in itself the goal and object of the church’s ministry, and the focus of the church is contorted inwards. Close families are not synonymous with closed families.
Family ministry means the family in ministry. A central goal is that both the members and the communities of Christian families ‘experience them as a transformative presence’. [Garland 1999: 342] As Cahill writes, ‘the ideal to which Christian faith calls families is a new existence in which marital and kin bonds are the basis for affectionate, mutual, just and generous internal family relations and for compassionate and sacrificial outreach to those beyond one’s own family, especially those who are socially peripheral or powerless’ [2000: 46]. Christian families are called to live by faith and love in relation to those both inside and outside family boundaries. It is necessary for the Christian identity to ‘transform the family’s self-promoting and exclusionary tendencies and to enhance its ability to teach affection, empathy and altruism’ [Cahill 2000: 49]. In many instances, supporting the ministry of the family may necessitate the church doing less, not more. An unfortunate consequence of modern times has been that many churches have effectively undercut the ministries of their families by promoting the institution of the church itself as the central arena of Christian life and faith nurture, rather than affirming and enabling the Christian ministry that takes place in the home. Where the church “crowds out” the practice of faith in and through the home, and segregates rather than unites families in its programming, it impoverishes families spiritually and weakens their capacity for internal and external mission. Despite the church’s historic insistence on the primary role of parents in shaping their children’s spiritual capacities, congregations today often fall prey to the temptation of professionalism. Many well meaning churches have failed to offer families adequate support for the dimension of their vocation related to spiritual growth in the home. Instead the message effectively communicated is that families receive their spiritual nurture only at church. Yet at church, family members typically are assigned to age groups, each with specialized resources. The effect can b |
